Mediation sets the stage for the conflicting parties to vent for as long as it takes to spell out their problems with each other until they find a mutually beneficial solution. The process would however not culminate into an agreement unless the essential mediation process is applied. This involves the conflicting parties converging into one room and descending into dialogue about the problem while facing each other, without interruption and for long enough until a solution is found.
In conflict, we either, like clams, we close all communications about the problem and refuse to speak or unduly influence the other party into accepting our side. Which is why before Mediation kicks off, the parties must deliberately accept the 2 cardinal rules; not to distance themselves from the dialogue by refusing to communicate and walking away and not to coerce one another into acceptance.
We have watched conflicting parties having submitted to mediation, vehemently defend their positions at the beginning and naturally at the peak of the aggression stumble upon a breakthrough that it is possible to stop the war and actually have a win-win outcome. The desire for peace sets in and each party begins to articulate their needs in conjunction with each other.
It is paramount to remember that, mediators do not offer any terms of agreement, ours is to remind the parties that they must remain in the essential mediation process by observing the cardinal rules, identify any gestures of reconciliation from the parties and nudge them towards the breakthrough and ultimately a mutually beneficial solution so that they can begin to heal out of their own efforts.